Wednesday, January 07, 2004
I love her so much.
I am so happy.
A special event has occured, that changes everything.
I should feel more concerned.
But I just feel in love.
She is the only thing my mind rests on.
The best thing I can dream of.
And oh... do I dream.
So long have I looked forward to having someone like her.
Someone to hold.
Someone to kiss goodnight.
Someone to love.
Now I do.
Now I do.
Posted at 12:18 am by SilencingOrion
Saturday, December 27, 2003
ARGH. I miss her so much. Only a few more days. *sigh* It feels like its been forever since I've seen her. I am starting to forget the feeling of her arms around me, her lips on mine... *sigh* But not for long, she will be back soon. And sooner the better, for my sanity's sake. I love you Jessicat. Farewell.
Posted at 11:10 am by SilencingOrion
Friday, December 26, 2003
Random, lovely, Quotes...
"Lady you berefit me of all words,
Only my blood speaks to you in my veins,
And there is such confusion in my powers."
"I wish you well and so I take my leave,
I pray you know me when we meet again."
"There is always some madness in love.
But there is also always some reason in madness."
"Love is not blind - it sees more, not less. But
because it sees more, it is willing to see less."
Rabbi Julius Gordon
"Love is an irresistable desire to be irresistably desired."
"Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments: love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds."
"Friendship is certainly the finest balm
for the pangs of disappointed love."
Posted at 1:13 am by SilencingOrion
Random Expression of Internal Process
Posted at 12:32 am by SilencingOrion
Monday, December 15, 2003
I am happy.
I am in Love.
A little disapointed in myself.
Probably would not change anything.
We own each other now.
We carry the others heart.
I miss her.
I long for her face.
The beauty that does not cease to interupt my thoughts.
I welcome the interuption.
I am not leaving.
I am hers.
I am happy.
Posted at 10:19 am by SilencingOrion
Monday, December 08, 2003
AHA! Now it's my turn to write depressively...
I don't really like typing for the world to see. But some things need to be known. Alot of things seem not to be. All this time I have been the strong one. Been there for the struggling one(s). I can only last so long. I am not nearly out yet, but I need to recharge now and then. *sigh* Oh the questions in my head. I am imagining all of this? Can there be love? Is everything and everyone a lie? Logic tells me this is real. And alot of the time, my heart does also. But occasionally something causes me to feel otherwise. Something I see, or hear. Maybe it's me. I do not want to depress anyone else, or discourage, or worry. The love I have for others is still there, burning strong. I just wonder if any is coming back. I am always afraid that I am useless. That I will never be needed. I feel like some people try and make me feel needed, but I am really not. I feel like I am being used. Maybe I am just paranoid, from the other times I have been misled and broken. Or maybe I am just so desperate for love and meaning that I imagine. Whatever the case, I will probably be fine again in a day or so. Until then... I thank God for the life I have, and the people I love, and I pray that he will have his way in my life, completely. Wow, this all sounds really depressing, LoL, hmm... Well God loves me, I know that for sure. *hugs* to Jessi, I hope that you start feeling better about yourself too. I love you, and that is no lie, however thin the words might sound... or look, seing how it is text... *ahem* Toodles
Posted at 1:25 pm by SilencingOrion
Tuesday, December 02, 2003
Wow, I havent updated in a while... Of course I dont know what to put... I still need to get a new background picture for my header. But lets catch up in my life...
I am so happy this semester is almost over. Studying for exams is going to suck though.
Next semester I will be with my love, I cannot wait... *dreamy sigh* I love you Jessicat!
My life is almost made... Except for a few complications with a friend... Which shall soon be resolved, hopefully calmly.
Lov is such a beautiful thing. I have been waiting on it so long, and its finally arrived. I have someone to take care of, to love, to hold, to be there for me, and to trust. I long to make her whole, to fill her voids, erase her scars. I will always be here for you Love.
I am writing a song for us... though she probly wont hear it, hehehe, unless of course she makes me... LoL... MUE HA HA.
*sigh* I wish I had more time for things, like my blog. I wish I did not have to work for money, though it is good for me. I wish I could be educated without education.
Ok, this is the end, for now... Until I think of something, write something, or am pressured to update again, hehehe... Goodbye all.
Posted at 3:54 pm by SilencingOrion
Wednesday, November 05, 2003
Hmm... Halfway a song, but havent worked on it.
Wrote this a long while back... Wow, LoL.
Its raining hard
The sky is a sea of depression
The cloads full of hate
Echo on the face of the ocean
Leaves fall down
From the former trees of autumn
They tumble down and down
And become one of the common
The wind blowing all around
Raindrops dent the earth
A display deeply profound
Drops of water
Skim my soaked face
The weather so heartless
And yet, full of grace
Tears slip unnoted
Mixed with the falling rain
Exhausted I fall
The beauty brings pain
The anxieties of life
Return mercilessly to mind
By the forgiveness of time
All around strangely Dark
Is it night? Or is it day?
Memories of the sun
Seem distant, far away
I feel a presence near
It beckons to my soul
And I know it not
The cold hands of death
Encircle my heart
I begin to fade
And wake with a start
I look out the window
Its raining and grey
But somehow I know
I will conquer this day!
Posted at 10:59 pm by SilencingOrion
Another attempt at writing!
I wrote this a couple of weeks ago... Hmm... No title... The Rose maybe?
A rose floats in the breeze
Tumbling everywhere, subject to the winds
A rose so beautiful, one would die to hold it in their hands
But it seems unnattainable
It is possible to reach, but so, oh so hard
The flower seems to avoid every longing hand
but it does not choose to avoid, it is the wind that determines its path
Sometimes I get so close, I can feel its soft pedals brush agaist my fingers
And then it gets blown away, out of reach,
again, and again, and again
This is the condition of my soul...
Posted at 10:50 pm by SilencingOrion
I wrote this a couple of years ago, and you can tell I like dreams. I swear, I wont keep writing about dreams...
A Dream of Beauty
The moon rises slowly
To greet the quickening night
Throwing on the world
A blanket of pale blue light
The guides of the universe
Speckled idly about
Beautiful drops of night light
Sometimes blinking in and out
Thin clouds painted on
The Navy dark blue sky
Pieces of torn white canvas
Soaring calmly by and by
The wintry forest breathes
In the rising icy wind
Their bodies sway, to and fro
Groaning as they bend
Posted at 10:45 pm by SilencingOrion